Talking about Compensation at Work

Yesterday Sue Shellenbarger's Work and Family Q&A column in the Wall Street Journal addressed talking with co-workers about compensation. While Ms. Shellenbarger confirmed my thought that it is inappropriate to discuss salary directly with your co-workers, she had a very interesting insight about people who do discuss salaries at work. Ms. Shellenbarger stated that "bringing up salaries, bonuses or raises can be a veiled power play, a way to belittle or intimidate others, or just a way to stir up trouble." I do encourage people to do their research on what market salaries are, but agree that it is never helpful to talk about it with your co-workers. It has only led to trouble among co-workers and feelings of resentment either of peers or management.

The Pregnant Pause: How Maternity and Motherhood are Viewed by an Employer

Recently I was reading a career advice column that brought up parenthood. A young newly married career woman was at dinner with her boss and colleagues. The conversation came around to her plans for her future career and family. She said she is looking forward to starting a family. After recounting this story to her husband and the advice column, the unanimous answer was to never talk specifically about your own family planning.

I have to agree with this. I have been on both sides of this topic, initially being my employer's first woman they employed who worked through my pregnancy and then returned from maternity leave, and later as an employer with people who were starting families. So I'll give my thoughts from the employee and employer perspective.

Planning your family takes personal and couple discussions about how you will raise the child, how you will afford expenses that arise, and how you will juggle responsibilities. These are very intimate issues to work out. A big issue is how you will handle your career once you become pregnant and when the baby arrives. Everyone handles this differently, and today more than ever it's a couple's solution. Some people can work throughout the pregnancy and maternity leave without missing a beat. Others have severe medical issues that limit a woman's ability to work during the pregnancy. And other woman have occasionally complaints during pregnancy that can affect performance.

So now your bundle of joy arrives. I remember distinctly the first night my baby was home with us and wouldn't stop crying that I was completely responsible for this new human. That's quite a life changing event. For many women and men today, maternity leave is the first time they haven't worked for a period of time. Some people find it a great bonding time with the new family, and others realize that they don't have the strong nurturing feelings they expected to have. Give yourself time to adjust. This is when some people find that they can accomplish work duties while away, or can barely accomplish getting bathed. Make sure you give yourself options so you don't have to run back to work before you are ready.

This is all well and good--but what if you are an employer who needs to keep the company running. What do you do if your star employee all of a sudden can't remember her sales appointments (surprisingly plausible), or your department manager announces his desire to take family leave, or your right hand winemaker is on bed rest for the remainder of her pregnancy? If you plan ahead you can make sure that systems are in place to catch any problems ahead of time. You can also cross-train other employees to handle any time off. You can have more frequent talks with your employee to keep abreast of things that might come up during their leave. And most importantly you want to support them during this exciting time.

Great, but how does an employer really feel. When an employee discusses their hopes to get pregnant there is always a twinge of concern. Will the employee become dreamy eyed and forget their past hard-charging ways? Will they assure the boss that they will return to work 6 weeks after the baby arrives, and then find a new job and leave the employer high and dry? Will a father find he loves being a stay at home dad and surprise his company by giving notice? These things all happen, and are why an employer pauses when parenthood is brought up.

So I'll come back to what the advice column said. Never discuss your personal family planning. As a young career woman I always praised new parents and echoed other's comments about how great their accomplishment was, but kept it quite separate from my own personal life. I may have thought that was the cutest baby I ever saw and was dying to have one of my own. But I loved my work, and my family, and didn't want to ruin my future possibilities. So I kept my home life private and also made sure I had options if my own family situation caused me to change my career aspirations.

What do you think? Any experiences or comments?

Don't let the cat out of the bag

Looking for a new job is a big step for anyone. With our busy lives, some of our closest friends are our coworkers and peers in an industry. It's nice to have someone to talk about a job search with. But be careful who you talk to.

Although we share our day to day lives with our colleagues, a job change has impacts on them that they may view as negative. If your move could bring them more work or scrutiny, your confidence with them may be on shaky ground. Any employer who gets wind of an employee who is in the midst of a job hunt changes their attitude about that employee. It is rarely a good thing for your boss or colleagues to find out you're looking for a new job. So I stress complete confidentiality in your job hunt.

To maintain confidentiality, be sure to keep all job hunt communications separate from the work place. No email should be sent using your company email account. As I've mentioned in past postings, the company email system is the property of your employer, and any message can be viewed by your employer. You can be terminated for using company email or computer systems for personal, non-company purposes. Phone calls should also be taken outside of work, and on your own cell phone. If you get a call while at work, simply inform the caller that you will call them back. A potential employer or recruiter will understand and connect with you at a more convenient time.

I have had solid relationships with coworkers and knew that they would keep my job search quiet. I do not feel that telling them about the job search helps them. If I was looking for a new position and was hired, I would have already had a transition plan in place. Having a work friend who knows is nice, but it can cause them unneeded stress. Their time should be focused on their job, not on whether you are out interviewing during your recent sudden illness. I recommend keeping the job hunt separate from work. An employer wants a dedicated employee, not someone with one foot out the door.

And don't forget to pick up the copy of your resume off the office printer. Plenty of secret searches have been foiled by a resume left in the print queue or on the copier.