How to Enjoy Yourself Professionally at the Annual Office Party

It’s time for the annual office holiday party.  No matter how festive the occasion however, it’s important to remember that a holiday party is an extension of the work environment. While it’s okay to relax and have fun, a professional demeanor is still important because your behavior reflects on you as an employee or as a leader. 

Jacqueline Whitmore, an internationally-recognized etiquette expert, author of Poised for Success: Mastering The Four Qualities That Distinguish Outstanding Professionals and founder of The Protocol School of Palm Beach, offers these 10 tips to avoid a night of barefaced blunders:

-          Don’t make a beeline for the food and drink. It's best to eat a little something before the event so you don't come to the party hungry. Scope out the crowd first and the goodies second.  Stay away from messy or difficult-to-eat foods (anything in a red sauce or on a bone) or large hors d'oeuvres that can't be eaten in one bite.

-          Hold your glass in your left hand. Always keep your right hand free for handshaking. No one likes to shake a cold, wet hand. Avoid juggling your food and drink and don't talk with your mouth full of food. Ladies, leave your large handbag at home. It only gets in the way. Carry a wristlet instead.

-          No swinging from the chandeliers.  An open bar isn’t an open invitation to drink yourself into oblivion.  Indulging in too much alcohol could have unfavorable repercussions if you’re not careful.  To maintain your professionalism, limit your alcohol intake to one or two drinks.

-          Choose your guest carefully. The person you bring to the party can reflect either positively or negatively on you. Follow the dress code and make sure your date does too. This is not the time to wear your most revealing outfit or your favorite blue jeans and a t-shirt. Keep it festive, yet professional. 

-          Don't talk shop. Though work topics are bound to come up, this is not the time to plan your company's next advertising campaign, talk about the recent layoffs, or gossip about a co-worker's divorce. Keep the conversation light and positive. Be sure to include spouses, partners and guests in the conversation.

-          Be all there. A holiday party is a great time to get to know others on a personal level. Be engaged and don't spend a majority of the evening texting, talking on your cell phone, or posting photos on Facebook. Put people first and put your phone on silent.

-          Make an appearance.  When you make an effort to attend the office holiday party, even for just a half hour, you show interest in and support for your colleagues, organization and supervisor.  If you are unable to attend, let the host or someone in charge know that you have another obligation and will not be attending.  Simply not showing up shows a lack of respect.

-          Practice remembering names. The sweetest sound to someone's ear is his or her own name. When you meet someone new, repeat his name immediately after hearing it. Use the name a couple of times in conversation. If you can't remember someone's name, say something like, "It's been one of those days. I know you’re Paul’s wife, but please tell me your name again." Or, extend your hand and say your name. This will prompt the other person to say her name too.

-          Don't sit with your friends. Reach out and introduce yourself to people you don't know rather than sticking with only those you do know. An office party is a chance to shine and mingle with those you don't see very often. Have some conversation starters available. Most people love to talk about travel, food and hobbies. 

-          Give thanks to those who helped.  Saying thank you is not only cordial behavior, but will make you stand out from those who don’t express their gratitude.  Send a thank-you note to key persons who helped organize the event and to those who made the event possible. 

For more information and tips of business etiquette, visit Jacqueline Whitmore's websites at: http://www.etiquetteexpert.com/ and http://jacquelinewhitmore.com/

There are Two Sides to this Job Hunting Scenario

Yesterday I got a call from a job seeker that I've advised in the past.  He has been job hunting for several months now, and is a bit discouraged about how it is going.  He said that when he sends out a resume to a job posting, he never hears anything back.  Unfortunately, that seems to be the norm when submitting resumes.  From stories candidates tell me, they rarely if ever hear back from a submission, not even a confirmation that their resume was received. 

This has got to be hard to take.  Yes, I do advise people to follow up on any submittal whenever possible.  If you just sent your resume to an individual at the company, check back with her before the week is out to make sure she received your resume.  While email is good, if you can call her to check that could just do the trick.  Not all hiring managers like the call, but gauging how often I get follow up I think they don't get a lot of calls. 

Why would you want to follow up on a submittal.  Well you would of course want to know that your resume got to the person intended, and also to find out what the status of the job opening is.  You do have to use a little finesse in your follow up, gracefully saying you were making sure your resume was received while also casually inquiring into what the next steps in the review process are.  Being pleasant and also eager are great qualities to exhibit when making these inquires. 

Sometimes my best candidate for a job has ended up in my spam folder, and only after they inquired about their submission did I find the email.  It happens, not all the time, but I am sure those candidates are glad they did follow up with me.

Now, I want to discuss the flip side:  What it is like to be a job poster.  Over this past weekend I posted a job to Craigslist.  I put information about the job and that WineTalent was the recruiting company on the position. 

Quickly I started getting responses.  Some were very detailed email messages with attached resumes and cover letters.  Some didn't have any email message at all, only a resume attachment.  Some email messages were kind of bossy, "Read this message to hire me for the job", and "Contact me immediately about my candidacy".  This role is for an Executive Assistant who will be handling all of the communications for the winery owner and will be supporting the company in many different settings.  Attention to detail, strong interpersonal skills and a professional demeanor are all traits I am looking for in this person.  My first impression is going to come straight from the first email communications.

Knowing that all too often candidates never get any feedback about their submittal, I can understand if they don't put much effort into the submission.  If you'll never hear back why bother finding out anything about the company or the person you are submitting to?  I can understand the logic there.  But maybe you need to go the extra mile when you are sending your resume to a posted job listing? 

Now I'm not one to complain (That's Cranky Recruiter's job), I do think if my contact information is on the posting a candidate could address the email to me directly.  Granted, Craigslist does use a blind email submission process, but someone could still find out who they are sending their information to.  Doing a quick Google search of the word WineTalent immediately brings up my website.  If someone pulled up my website they could probably quickly find out who to address an email too.  Maybe addressing it to Dear Sirs isn't the best salutation...?!  Also, if I have listed that I'm recruiting for my winery client, maybe discussing your interest in working at my winery doesn't make sense.  I don't have one, only many of my clients do.  And if you note on your submission that you are impressed with the wines I have produced and you want to be involved in a world-class production operation like mine you really do not know who you are submitting your resume to. 

So what?  You want a job and I'm going on about etiquette in email submissions.  I will say that some folks who submitted their resume have already gotten a call from me, and I'm off momentarily to conduct an interview with someone who sent her resume in yesterday.  Why did these submissions make the cut?  These emails were professional and directed to this specific job posting.  The emails expressed their relevant experience to the job posted.  They were concise yet compelling.  Of course their resumes showed they had solid work histories and the skills needed for the job. 

Take the time with the first step, and you'll set yourself up nicely on the path to a new job.

The Interview over Lunch: What to Do?

This morning I was reading the job section of the newspaper, and this study caught my eye: The Imbibing Idiot Bias:  Consuming Alcohol Can be Hazardous to Your (Perceived) Intelligence.  This study conducted by researchers at the University of Michigan and University of Pennsylvania looked at how people's perceptions of another changed when the person ordered an alcoholic drink during their meeting.  The researchers found that when a person ordered or drank an alcoholic beverage, the other person thought they had lower intelligence.  As they stated,  "We find that the bias may be costly in professional settings. Job candidates who ordered wine during an interview held over dinner were viewed as less intelligent and less hireable than candidates who ordered soda. However, prospective candidates believe that ordering wine rather than soda will help them appear more intelligent."  Hmm, sounds like something I should explore!

Often, I conduct interviews over lunch or dinner at a nice restaurant.  Being in the wine business, these lunches regularly occur in wine country and at places with very nice wine lists.  It is natural to order a drink, right?  No, it is never a given that any alcohol will be consumed during these meetings--but the very notion of having a drink is full of speculation--on my part yes, but I am sure on my guest's part too.

Case History One:  Several months ago I was asked by a friend to do a mock interview of their son who wanted to make his way in the wine business world.  Having almost finished his degree in business and with prior work experience in wine sales and restaurants, it was interesting to me to find out how he would do in this mock interview.  He handled himself very professionally in the contrived setting, and came across well in the interview.  After the interview I debriefed him on how he did and also gave him my take on possible options for him in the wine industry.  Since he and I had met at a restaurant and only consumed water during the interview, I wanted to make sure the restaurant made a little money off of my table that afternoon, so I encouraged him to order something to eat and drink.  I ordered a light appetizer, and a glass of wine.  Did he?  No.  Smart man.

When I put together my notes from this meeting for his parents, I mentioned his abstaining from drinking during our meeting, and gave him big kudos for that.  I think drinking alcohol can be fraught with meaning in a business setting, and for a young graduate, something to stay away from at all costs.  Oh, I know I'm a wine industry recruiter, but an interview is an interview, and the same rules apply.

Case Histories Two and Three:  On the flip side of this, this weekend I had several meetings with both job seekers and clients who were discussing projects.  At one of the interviews I ordered a beer but my interviewee did not--although we were dining at a brewery.  I thought this showed a lot of restraint on her part, and of course caused me to start to worry about how I was being perceived!  At one of my project meetings my client brought along one of their wines to try--so of course I had a glass of this wine.  But I did not have a second glass, nor did he.   

What to Do:  When meeting with a prospective employer, keep your demeanor completely professional.  Now, we do want to find out a little about you when we meet, so don't worry about talking a bit about your personal life.  And when meeting at a restaurant for an interview, try to brush up on your basic etiquette so you don't embarrass yourself by drinking out of the ice bucket.  And try to match your dining companion's pace and conversation style.

Pace Yourself: Yes, pace yourself my friend!  This can be the hardest thing to do at a business lunch--but I'm not talking about pacing your drinking.  Try to see what kind of meal this is going to be.  When you first arrive you'll get the menu and maybe hear about the dining specials.  I think this is a great opportunity to gauge how much food the other person may be eating.  If they mention that the salad at this place is a meal in itself, they may be planning to just have a salad for lunch--so stay away from ordering an appetizer, a salad, a soup, an entree and a dessert.  You'll have plate after plate coming at you, and your guest and others waiting for you to eat.  The meeting is a time to show off you talents for the job, not how much you can eat.  I also try to let my companion order first, so I can see if they will be having a few courses or sticking with only an entree.  If they order a first course, I try to too.  I don't want them to be desperately trying to finish their soup before the next course comes, while carrying on a conversation about what we are really there to explore.  So, try to keep your order in sync with theirs.


Order Wisely:  Ok, now that you've thought about the amount of food you should order, try to take into account how the food you want to eat will interfere with your meeting.  A few weeks ago I ordered a wonderful summer stew at a meeting, and was very worried when it had shell-on crustaceans and whole cobs of corn to wrestle with.  It was even better when my corn cob sailed through the air after I was trying to get the kernels off using a knife and fork.  While I don't like to get too picky with what I am ordering, it may have been better to make sure this seafood stew would be meeting friendly.  Years ago I worked at a company that forbid us employees from ordering anything that required eating it with our hands.  I have followed this policy loosely in all my ordering--staying away from big juicy burgers and shying away from french fries.  But I do slip occasionally and order something that requires manual manipulation.

And Now the Big Decision:  "And what would you like to drink today?" the waiter asks you eagerly.  If your answer is "hair of the dog that bit me" or "double scotch on the rocks" you may find that your meeting quickly devolves from a meeting highlighting your stellar qualifications into something much less spectacular.  If they say they would like to try one of the beers on tap, or ask the waiter what wine would be good with their fish--be hesitant in ordering a drink too.  You can't go wrong with water--sparkling or still.  Another safe option often is iced tea.  And good old lemonade can keep you focused and hydrated. Isn't that why you would want something to drink anyways?

Why You are There:  Alright, so now that you got all the ordering taken care of, keep your focus on the meeting--not the food.  You want to enjoy your meal--but if you have something that is so-so--keep your opinion to yourself and carry on with the conversation.  If there is truly something wrong with your meal, decide what you need to do--if you must send it back--do it, nicely.  But if it was a little underwhelming, eat a little and be happy you won't get caught with your mouth full of food very often.  You want to be talking a lot, so don't worry if you don't eat much.  Just have your plates cleared when your companion's are, and be thrilled to get the time to highlight your qualifications.  

Coffee Anyone?:  And if the meeting is going well and your host wants a cup of coffee, by all means have one too.  This time can sometimes be a nice chance to talk without plates of food between you, and often is a time to see what the next steps are in the interview process and learn how you are being perceived by the--hopefully future--employer. 

Cranky Recruiter: Interviewing Advice

Feeling a bit like Scrooge, I am tapping away at these keys without any heat in my office, wearing worn out, now-fingerless gloves, wondering when my assistant will show up to work to put some coal into the fire.  That darn Cratchit, always taking time off for the holidays.  No goose for him.

I have been putting in a fair amount of time at work this holiday season--which should be a good sign for the economy.  Lots of new positions to be filled for 2012.  I have been heading out to interview people for a wealth of positions.  I have also met a lot of different people recently, and thought I could give everyone a little advice--both the young whippersnappers and the seasoned winery veterans.

1.  Be nice:  Yes, be nice to your recruiter or she gets very cranky.  But also, be nice to everyone you meet.  I have always tried to live by the Golden Rule, and think it is paying off quite handsomely these days.  When you are interacting with someone on the phone, use good phone etiquette.  When you are sitting down with someone at an interview, thank them for their time and their interest in interviewing you.  And if you have to interact with, say a secretary or a server while there for the interview, you had better be nice to them too.  I won't tell you how much a rude interaction with a server will diminish your standing as a prospect with me.

2.  Be on time:  Yes, get there 15 minutes early.  If you are earlier than that, wait in your car or at the corner cafe for a few minutes and then show up 5-15 minutes early.  We recruiters pay attention.  If you are late to our interview, most likely you'll be late to the interview with our clients--heaven forbid.  And maybe habitually late to work. 

3.  Be Interested:  Oh, how cranky I become if I feel like I am doing a favor by showing up to the interview for the person who is looking for a job.  Yes, thank YOU for allowing me to schlep here, to be on time, and to be interested in talking to you about the position.  No questions about me?  Fine, I don't really like talking about myself.  But try to think up some points of conversation--just in case you need to liven up the conversation.  As I often say, "It is all about me."  Not really, but you had better think of some things to talk about with a potential interviewer, because it often can separate you from the competition.  When interviewing at a winery if you can bring up a funny story that ties into their history--pure interviewing gold.  Also, if you can ask me how my recent trip was that I posted about on this blog and on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIN, etc, maybe I'll feel like you did your homework, and that you know how to carry on a pleasant conversation.  And maybe I'll even like you.  That never hurts.


4.  Know why you are there:  Most likely if we are in an interview, it is because, 1. I have a current opening I am thinking of you for, or,  2. I know there will be something relevant soon.  If I have mentioned some particulars about the job, do your homework and find out what you can before our interview.  Also it might be good to at least look at my website to find out who the heck I am.

5.  Show you care:  Comb your hair, polish your nails, check your make-up, iron your shirt, tuck in your pants, polish your shoes.  Yes, I'm a big fan of the book Dress for Success, for good reason.  Showing you take good care of yourself reflects positively on you, and on your future capabilities in the job.  When you look disheveled at the interview, I can only guess what you'll look like on Monday morning, Month 2 of the job.  Your presentation is very important.  Grab that book, search the web, or use anything else that outlines what it is appropriate in professional circles, and get to know it.  Oh, and if you are wearing a dark suit, please, please, please, no white socks.  Just a cranky recruiter's all-time pet peeve.

6.  Don't swear.  Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I don't need to hear any swear words during an interview.  Really, I don't.  I hate it.  Yes, maybe I think a lot of words are swear words that the FCC deems OK now, but really, can't we increase our own vocabulary to use words such as awful, disgusting, or mean, instead of profanity.  I am shocked that I have to write this, but I am sometimes shocked who swears in an interview.

7.  Follow up.  Last week I had to make an interview arrangement on the phone while I was driving.  I asked the future interviewee to please send me an email with our scheduled appointment time so that I would be sure to block it out on my calendar when I got back to my office.  He didn't email me it, and I waited, and waited, knowing full well when I had said I would meet him.  When the day of the interview came he wasn't sure we were meeting.  I was there, on time, and he wasn't.  While he may have thought I forgot, I didn't.  I was just seeing how good his follow through was.  Sometimes follow through is the most important element in getting an interview, getting a job, and finding success.  So, when someone tells you to do something, do it.  When you finish up with the interview, send a thank you.  I don't care how you send one, but do it.  It shows you care, and that you have good follow up. 

Ok, that's off my chest.  Now you can see the inner working of Catbert!  Happy Holidays everyone, and maybe when I wake up tomorrow I'll buy Cratchit a goose and give him the day off.  Maybe....hmm humbug!